my new pine chair.

I got a new chair today.  Well...my mom always used the phrase, "New to you."  Which it is.  So, I got a "new to me" chair today.  It's a pine folding chair.  I bought it for $5.  It's worn and faded from the years, but actually pretty comfortable as pine chairs go.  I got it so I could sit out on the balcony and do my homework outside.  It's wonderful.  I sat in it today for about 2 hours.  I read for a bit, but then I put my book down and thought.  I have a lot to think about lately, but at the moment I'm thinking about one thing: me.

Narcissism?  No.  I'm writing quite a difficult paper this week.

It's not due for a week.  And it's only going to end up being about 3 pages.  But I've started it tonight because I know that it's going to be painfully difficult.  It's a Self-Inquiry paper for one of my psych classes.  I have to have a good understanding of who I am and be able to articulate it.  I need to recognize how and why I express feelings like "sadness, anger, fear, pride, and love", talk about trials or tribulations in my life and how I've healed, if at all, and the lessons I've learned from them, and that's not all...the list is pretty thorough.

This is a difficult paper.  Would you be able to answer all those questions fully and honestly and articulately?  If you can, then that's quite the accomplishment.

But at the moment, I can't.  That's why I've given myself a week to complete this paper.  7 days, 3 pages.  All about myself. 

So what am I doing blogging about it, when I should actually be writing the paper?  I'm contemplating.  Which is one of the items I put to describe myself: contemplative (the adjective, not the noun).

I think this is going to take some major prayer and quiet time to do this paper well.  Good thing I have an old pine chair.

Steve Jobs and his "i"...

Steve Job's is awesome.  For those of you who are woefully in the dark, Steve Jobs is the CEO of Apple.  Apple, for those of you who are even more woefully in the dark, will change your life.

But why?  Because of the i.

For me, it's the iPod.  Now, before you jump to conclusion about excess and need and superfluous gadgets and toys and yadda, yadda, yadda....this isn't a CutCo/PamperedChef/Candle/Tupperware/[fill in the blank yourself] presentation about why you really need to buy stuff you really don't need.  (No offense to you CutCo salesmen out there.)

I was just listening to some tunes on this fantastic iContraption.  Playlist: "My Jesus Time Music."

A little bit of Phil, some Owl City, a smidge of both Jeremy's, a sprinkle of David, the Album Leaf, Silas....the list goes on.  I can actually pick and choose some sweet music, pop in the little ear buds and I'm away on my own personal "Jesus Time."  There's nothing super spiritual about the music.  No flashing lights, no big noise (although sometimes I do concede that it's a tad loud), no show, no crowd, no nothing.  Just me and my pod.

And I was just thinking about how awesome that is.  I can make a list of songs and off I go.  Jesus and me.  And while I don't actually need an iPod, or gadgets like that, I do love the being able to have "My Jesus Time Music."

My friends Owl City sing: "I can finally see, that You're right there beside me.  I am not my own, for I have been made new.  Please don't let me go.  I desperately need You."  The entire song is just a plea to God and a recognition of need.

I don't NEED the pod.  I NEED my Jesus.  So what does this really have to do with anything?  I guess I'm just trying to figure out my thoughts.  There's been a lot of talk of need (Doe's Blog) and simplicity (Jasmine Star) and what's really important in life.  It's Jesus.

This reminder comes to me in so many ways.  Phil see's His face "in every sunrise", Jeremy Riddle in "bruises and brokeness", and Owl City in "meteor showers."  Today, Jesus reminded me through Steve Jobs and "My Jesus Time Music".

Thanks Steve.

midnight breakfast, hair cuts, afternoon chats, and sawdust.

So I'm in class now at this very moment: Psychology of Family. The parents who read this won't be too happy about that, but...eh... I'm actually writing about them, so they might be OK with it. I had a thought I wanted to share.

Right now we're talking about the role of children. We've had discussions of mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, and now we're on to children. A discussion point was: in general society children are friends with their parents.

It's this point that has struck me. Parents being friends with their kids.

It's gross.

I was never friends with my parents. They definitely were friendly. But we weren't friends.

Friendship implies a level playing field; no hierarchy, less responsibility, no structure... and my parents weren't that. I'd get home late at night and have great talks with my dad over a late night breakfast. Afternoon calls to my mom lasted quite a long time. Hair cuts with Doe was a great time to connect. Saturdays out in the garage with John usually ended in a lesson learned. They are great parents. They were easy to approach and fun to be with, (albeit unconventional). They were interested in my life and involved with things that were happening with me. They all cared. All of them. But they weren't my friend. They demanded respect in love and obedience to their rules. They taught me how to be a functional, responsible, and intelligent young man. And I am thankful.

So this is a short post. I just had a moment of reflection: I have some rockin' parents.

So, thanks Dad.

And thanks Doe.

And thanks Mom.

And thanks John.

Ha. That always makes me laugh.

My Liberal Post (sorry Dad)

Once upon a time I was up at work. There are many, many, many, many boxes up here, full of many things. These boxes sat upon a shelving apparatus against the wall. For many days I would look at this shelving unit and think to myself, "Sooner or later, physics will win." Sure enough, I was here one day and right as the air conditioner turned on, the side walls cracked straight in two, and the whole shelving unit came crashing down. I guess that extra air pressure on top just pushed it over the edge. Luckily I was the only one here and nowhere near the flotsam. (I wish I could use that word more often so I decided to start now.)

Well... new "more sturdy" shelves were purchased, assembled, and subsequently filled up with even more boxes. And now, I'm here alone and there is an ominous creaking noise coming from the shelves, and I have returned to the thought, "sooner or later, physicals will prevail..."

But what does that have to do with the price of tea in china?

Nothing.

This is my liberal post.

I just felt like I had too much to talk about and think about (i.e. shelves) and didn't want to nail down one specific topic. So I decided to start with the shelves and now I shall move on...

It's been a good start of semester so far. My classes (Psych of Marriage, Psych of Family, Cognitive Psych, Abnormal Psych, Stats Lab, Geology, and Tennis) have gotten off to a good start. The material is very interesting, the work load isn't overbearing, the professors are good, and I get coffee everyday. Plus, if the week is too crazy, I have at least 3 hours of tennis each week to "sweat it out" (which is a very healthy thing by-the-way).

So that's topic number 2. School = good so far. No real complaints. However, the computer lab leaves much to be desired. And that will be my transition into my third topic.

I am currently in a Lab class for Statistics. It's a requirement for the Psych Major. Each class we go down to the computer lab in the library and do statistical analysis stuff using Excel. It's not bad. But 50% of the time only 60% of the computers actually work, and 100% of the time we have the RE-download and RE-install the Statistical Analysis tool-pack for Excel, which on the ancient beasts that we have, takes at least 7 minutes of the 50 minute class period. It's a one unit class. Which means, it's costing me $68 dollars each week to take this class (pause and catch your breath for that little nugget). So for every minute of me being in class, I'm paying about $1.40 to be taught statistics. One would HOPE that my tuition dollars would actually be put to use to have working computers, the necessary software properly installed, and possibly a teacher that's on time once in a while. But maybe that's just in a perfect world.

World...transition to my final topic: the world. I want to see it. And the best part about it, my wife does too! We don't want to see the entire thing (although that would be utterly RIGHTEOUS!!!!) But we do want to live in another part, not in the U.S. This is going to take much time of prayer, research, and talking to the right people, but this is my formal announcement to you all. In two years we're gonna move away for a year or so. It won't be permanent and I won't tell you exactly where yet. But I did want to tell you. There's something about telling people about it and asking them to pray that makes it seem a lot more real. So this is me asking for you guys to be praying for us. We have two years to both finish school, raise enough support if needed, research, secure jobs and housing, talk to the right people, and pray. And now, voila...it's real.

Real.....it's what this blog is about. I want to be real. I don't have much to hide (except those bald patches on my cheeks where no beard grows yet). Some days I have one thing to talk about and share, and others it's just a little too much to condense. And still other days, there's so much that I can't even get my thoughts straight and there's a two week (or two month) lapse in writing.

So cheers to all who read this. And if nobody, well, at least it's out there. If you have any thoughts, connections, helps, or whatever, feel free to comment and let me know.